The So Totally Cool Mom

We all know the opposite of the totally cool mom. They're the ones that give you that look when your kid is the one melting down at the grocery store, spinning around in circles on her head and then protesting by laying in the isle refusing to move. 'That look' is the one that gives off the aura that their child would never do such a thing. That you must be so much of a mess of a mom that you would allow it, first of all, and second of all, how wrong you must be doing in every mom department that your child could even conceive of the idea to behave so badly.

These so totally not cool moms also feel the need to openly whisper to their friend or husband, loudly enough for you to hear of course, about how much they would so NOT do what you're doing. They also make it clear by their expression that 1) They don't seem to particularly like everyone else's children, and 2) They probably don't even really enjoy their own.

If the so totally not cool mom knows you, then the situation is one gazillion times worse, because then they are fueled with some great new gossip, about how they so totally have it all together and you so totally do not. And if you know her, you try to be brave and act like you don't care, but instead, you are humiliated, you know there will be social circle backlash and plenty of backstabbing about your so not perfect children, and all you want to do is tell everyone to go away so you can sulk with your own cup of hot cocoa and marshmellows. So there!

Well, here's what I say to the so totally not cool moms out there. I can identify you with one simple glance. Eat dirt.

I prefer the So Totally COOL moms. The ones that walk up to you while you're breaking a sweat trying to just get your flailing kid off the grocery store floor, lay a hand on your shoulder and say, "That happened to me yesterday. And since I'm so fortunate right now to not have my little monsters, could I give you a hand?" Oh, how I love you, so cool mom.

Or the super uber-cool one that smiles and pulls a really big sucker out of her purse, makes eye contact with you as she raises a brow to get your approval, and then after you nod 'yes' so hard you pull a muscle in your neck, she hands it over to your screaming child and just bought you one full minute of peace.

Or the so over the top incredibly cool mom that goes out of her way to make your kid comfortable (which of course puts you at ease) and will let your kid take things out of her purse, even her wallet full of non-expired credit cards, if it helps you for five seconds or will let your kid tear her house apart when all you meant to was 'stop by real quick', because she 'totally gets it.' That mom can be my best friend anytime.

All you so totally cool moms out there, you rock the world, and you make it go around, rather than stop it cold and miserable the way the so totally not cool moms do. I am grateful for you cool moms more than you know. You help me breathe. God did some really good in you. :)

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