The Christian Journey

When I was 23 years old, I got down on my knees and prayed for Jesus to save my weary soul. Then no more than two nights later, I was back at the town bar, propping up onto my old bar stool of bad habits. The Christian journey is not a straight path for everyone.

The Christian Journey is so different for every person, just as every person was created different by God. Good Lord, I have no idea why He waited until I was 23 to bonk me over the head, but then again, I'm sure I wasn't listening. But what I have found is that that is not entirely my fault. I was exposed, as most young people are, to super unrealistic ideas of what makes people happy, via television. Seriously, MTV was my favorite channel, and I had free reign of it for some reason. So all those sexy ladies...yeah, I pretty much thought that was what life was about. Sad, right? Yeah. Sad.

Because oh my goodness, guess what? I have this amazing thing...it's called a brain. And it just so happens that mine works pretty well. I wish I knew that twenty years ago.

But back to my journey. For about ten years, it was a curvy road, where sometimes I was cruising along, nice and straight, and then WHAM, out of nowhere, a hairpin turn. Learning to slow down and anticipate those turns was the key, and for a while, I must have had the wrong one.

Then I got married to a seriously ridiculously amazing man. The kind you think, how on God's greener grass earth do I deserve him? But he's mine. And I've got four incredible kids to prove it. So a different part of the journey began. The kind where all of a sudden I am a wife and a mother, and the part where I thought it all meant that I was supposed to be a saint. Oh my dear Good God Lord in Heaven.

So I swore off cuss words, and cut back on the vino and tried to focus on the family. Let me clarify, focus on the family is good, unless that is ALL you can manage to focus on. Can you say miserable? Yeah? In how many languages, because I'm pretty sure this one is universal! If we don't allow ourselves a little guilty pleasure, and admit we aren't perfect, and don't have to be, and force ourselves to give ourselves as women a little time to just be women, then we will want to go jump a cliff instead of be some friggin nun. Trust me, I was there.

Then there is the interim period. Where you know you don't have to be perfect, because Jesus says he did so we don't have to, so okay, I can finally accept that. But you walk on eggshells. What is okay and what is not. If I do this or do that, will I be a bad example as a Christian? And can I be myself and still believe that I am doing as God wishes I should? These are hard things, people. I do yoga, where it's all, be true to your inner self and all that crap. Seriously, what does that even mean? Well, I think it's all interrelated, and we can be all new agey and Christian at the same time. So when I get that one cracked, I'll be sure to let you know.

But now, I am at a new stage of my journey. The one where I finally feel comfortable letting loose, and if I feel like being a badass, I can throw on my shitkickers and I'll be a badass and cuss and let it all hang out. I spend 99% of my time taking care of my family, and I'm nice to people, and I don't really do anything all that bad that I know of. So seriously, can I just say a bad word every now and then or if I think my neighbor is whack? I mean, what else is repentance in Sunday church for anyway? Okay, just kidding. I know repentance is major. But we are human, and we are never more more Christian than when we admit that.

Best of all, I pray to an awesome God. And just feeling it when He hears me is enough to know I'm on the right path. Right, God? Yeah, I thought so. Amen.